▲: i'm not gay!
▼: sure your not bro
▲: i'm not!
▼: its okay you know
▼: you can come out of the closet now
▲: everyone seems to think i am!
▲: what? no!
▼: everyone knows your not a homosexual john
▲: there are no closets to be stepping out of.
▼: except me
▼: i see the way you look bro
▼: no excuses
▼: just tell me
▼: im your bro
▲: no, but. dave!
▼: you can trust me
▲: i'm not.
▲: i'm really really not.
▼: and im not cool
▲: no but you are cool!
▲: you are the coolest of cool.
▼: and you are gay
▼: its okay dude
▼: just come out bro
▼: its just me
▼: im not gonna go around spillin your shit
▲: but i really don't think...
▲: i just get these weird feelings for uh...
▼: you like karkat
▲: i don't know!
▼: well if you tell me your true feelings
▼: ill tell you something
▼: that no one knows
▼: man its so uncool
▼: trust me
▲: you have a secret?
▼: just one bro
▲: theres nothing about you that could be uncool, dave!
▼: you wont say that after i tell you
▼: if i do
▲: ok. well. uh.
▲: i guess. sometimes. i think about guys. in a not-so-straight-friends kind of way.
▲: i don't know if...that means i'm gay or...
▲: i don't know.
▼: yeah man
▼: your either gay
▼: or bisexual bro
▼: ready for mine now
▼: this is bad
▼: but uh
▼: i guess im all fucking
▼: you know
▲: how...how is that bad?
▼: it just is
▲: doesn't that mean that you would like anyone, regardless of gender?
▲: i don't get why that's...bad...
▼: yeah i like them for them or what the fuck ever
▼: it just is man
▲: wow i never thought that you...
▲: well, anyway!
▲: i sitll don't understand why that's bad. i mean it's good. like you'd think about someone's personality first.
▲: what, what's exactly?
▼: what is it egderp
▲: you just sound upset! i'm sorry i didn't mean to upset you!
▼: im not
▼: im cool
▲: i don't see why it's bad, but if it makes you upset, i'm sorry...
▼: its cool john
▼: i dont think about it
▼: your the first person ive ever told
▲: but thats great, though!
▲: it makes me happy, that, you know...
▲: i don't know, we both...
▲: i always thought, for some reason, because i was scared, i guess...that you'd think differently of me.
▼: wait what
▼: what are you saying man
▼: are you saying that
▼: because your gay or whatever
▼: i would hate you
▲: no i guess i was just scared...that you'd see me differently, i guess.
▲: not that you'd hate me, or anything.
▼: whats that supposed to mean
▲: i don't know...
▲: i was just scared, dave.
▼: well dont
▲: maybe that you'd hate me...
▼: i wouldnt hate you man
▼: your my bro
▲: because i don't know what i'd do without you.
▲: you're my best friend!
▼: well you have karkat
▼: and jade
▼: and rose
▼: you would do fine without me man
▲: what are you even saying?
▼: nothing john
▲: i don't...i don't care about them the way i care about you.
▼: well im just a bro man
▼: dont you feel pretty fucking fluffy for karkat
▼: okay here
▼: im saying
▼: without me
▼: everything would be normal ya know
▼: you have alot of other people
▲: i don't...i don't like karkat! i guess, he just made me think about it all because he brought some things up.
▼: you would be good
▼: you dont
▲: but i don't want to be "good"
▼: i thought you felt all gay for him
▲: i mean, i thought about it with him. i guess. jeez this is kind of awkward to talk about.
▲: because i hadn't ever really...questioned the way i felt before about, you know, people...
▲: and he was the first person that ever really...said anything about it.
▼: what did he say
▼: oh john
▼: i fucking love you with my faggy self
▼: wanna go out oh bluh bluh shit shit
▼: shit what does karkat say'
▼: its been forever since ive talked to him
▲: uh...no. he actually said he hated me.
▲: you know, that weird troll...hate...love...thing.
▼: oh that black romance shit
▼: his lady was hitting on me pretty hard you know
▲: i know.
▼: for a blind chick im pretty suprised
▼: but anyway
▲: i think. that maybe it was easier to think things. about someone i've never actually met. you know?
▲: and that made me realize that, i guess. maybe i'm kinda...kinda maybe not so straight.
▲: well of course she was hitting on you, dave!
▲: you're awesome! and the coolest guy around. cooler than karkat, obviously.
▼: yeah but you know
▼: im not intrested in her
▼: wouldnt work out
▲: why not? you guys seemed pretty...close.
▼: well i mean there were times when i thought of hitting up her offer
▼: but i dont like her
▼: not like that
▼: so karkat hit on you
▼: and terezi hit on me
▼: and now those two are together
▲: yeah. they are...
▼: are you digging anyone eles john
▲: no, uh, of course not!
▼: oh okay
▲: that would be...weird.
▼: just wondering
▼: how would it be weird
▲: what? not weird. i didn't mean weird.
▲: that was not really the word i wanted to use there.
▼: are you okay john
▼: you should
▼: oh i dont know
▼: calm the fuck down
▲: i'm not....not calm.
▲: i'm definitely great!
▲: fine. and awesome.
▲: i don't really want to talk about who i like anymore, i think.
▲: do you like anyone, dave?
▼: sorry bro
▼: im fuckin confused
▼: you dont want to talk about who you like
▼: and obviously your freaking the fuck out
▲: i'm not freaking out.
▼: who is it
▼: yeah you are
▲: i'm not.
▼: you are
▲: it just wouldn't work out, okay?
▼: how wouldnt it
▲: so...i don't really want to talk about it.
▼: is it one of those assholes
▼: it is isnt it
▲: dave. i don't want to talk about it.
▼: dont tell me you still feel for karkat
▼: shit that would be messed up
▼: since hes got a girl and all
▲: i just don't want to talk about it, dave!
▼: and why the fuck not
▲: can we just please drop it.
▼: maybe i dont want to drop it
▲: because it makes me sad, ok?
▲: why can't we drop it?
▼: why does it make you sad
▲: i told you. it wouldn't work out. because they don't think about me the same way.
▼: well who is it
▼: you never know man ive talked to some of the trolls
▼: i got them to confess
▲: can you stop, please?
▼: fine whatever
▼: not like i care
▼: nothing man
▼: drop it
▲: if i tell you its one of the trolls will you not be upset and leave it alone?
▼: you have to tell me the truth
▼: im not standing for that bullshit
▼: and then i wont leave it alone
▲: you wont know if anythings the truth, theoretically, right?
▼: shut up
▼: and tell me
▲: im not going to lie.
▲: but i'd really rather not tell you.
▼: oh my god
▼: just tell me john
▲: why is this so gog damn important?
▼: because i want to know thats why
▲: it hurts enough, dave!
▼: oh you think that hurts
▼: forget it
▼: just drop it
▼: i give up
▼: dont tell me
▲: what...what would you say if i said it was eridan?
▼: i swear
▼: i hope your lieing to me
▲: what would you say if i said it was equius?
▼: i dont believe that
▼: not your type
▲: what...would you say if i said it was sollux?
▲: what if it was tavros?
▼: not really
▲: ok. what if it was gamzee?
▼: no way
▲: what...if...i said it was karkat?
▼: its karkat isnt it
▼: i should have figured
▲: what if i said itwasyou...
▼: stop lying
▼: its karkat isnt it
▼: just tell me
▼: uh what
▲: do..you want me to say it's karkat?
▼: i really dont
▼: but i want you to tell me the truth
▼: who do you seriously like
▼: not any what ifs damnit
▼: just say it
▲: well, it's one of those...
▲: well, it's definitely not eridan or equius.
▼: my guess is karkat
▲: its not sollux. or tavros.
▲: and it's not gamzee.
▼: its still karkat
▲: it's not karkat.
▼: then who the hell is left
▲: oh man...
▲: you're left. y-yeah...
▲: please...please don't be mad.
▲: oh gog...
▲: i'm really sorry.
▲: i just...
▲: i'm so sorry. please don't hate me.
▼: do you have any idea how uncool i just got john'
▲: i'm sorry!
▲: i know...i know we're best bros.
▼: i pretty much sounded like i just flipped shit because i thought you were telling me you liked karkat
▼: i sounded like a bitch back there
▼: but im not angry
▲: it's...it's okay.
▲: you really can pretend uh. i didn't say anything...
▼: im actualy happy bro
▲: if you want...
▼: i got pissed because i thought you were digging karkat
▼: but no man
▼: im actualy happy
▼: uh that sounded really uncoll
▼: but yeah man i like you too
▼: thats why i was getting so bitchy back there
▲: you...like me too?
▲: but...but we're best bros and you always say that and...
▲: and i thought that...
▼: yeah we are best bros dude
▼: doesnt mean i cant like you more than a bro though
▲: you would laugh at me dave i'm being really...really uncool right now!
▲: i'm smiling so much!
▼: when arent you being uncool
▲: you'll always be cooler than me!
▲: i'm sorry i uh...worried you. into thinking i liked karkat.
▲: i think it was easier for me to think about liking him because i didn't, actually, to liking...well...you.
▼: wait what
▼: you well
▼: the reason i didnt accept terezis offer is because i liked you and not her
▼: even though i could have just tooken it
▼: i kind of
▼: uh nevermind
▼: but yeah
▲: you kind of what?
▲: i'm glad you didn't accept terezi's offer!
▼: i guess when i saw how you and karkat were always talking and shit
▼: i got kind of jealous or whatever
▼: even though thats uncool
▼: i thought of taking her offer so i could make you or karkat jealous
▼: but that was a stupid idea
▲: well...i'm glad you didn't!
▲: really...really glad.